This past week has been ROUGH.
Last Weds. I slipped in the kitchen and wrenched my back. It caused a pulled muscle under my right shoulder blade and a muscle spasm that lasted 5 days. Four of those days resulted in minimal, if not a COMPLETE lack of, exercise. I fell behind on EVERYTHING. Housework went undone. Laundry went undone and unfolded. Thank goodness I didn’t have to cook much (Thank you, Herbalife and Lean Cuisine!) and The Husband was a good sport about the whole thing. In fact, he kept telling me to stop worrying about what wasn’t getting done more than a time or two.
I was annoyed and grumpy and anxious all week. It wasn’t out of control anxiety. It was simply that, “Great. I can’t DO anything and I NEEEEEED to!” type anxiety. Don’t get me wrong. I am NOT a great housewife. I tend toward lazy and my mobility issues make some things VERY difficult and others IMPOSSIBLE. However, I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO DO STUFF. Choosing not to do something and being unable to do them are two TOTALLY different things. It’s the difference between telling myself, “I choose not to have that Cheesecake.” and “I can’t have that Cheesecake.” It’s a subtle difference to most people, but for me OMG “I can’t” or “You can’t” said by someone else is like a red cape to a bull. (The Husband tells me all the time I’m a contrarian. It usually leads to me saying, “I AM NOT!” and him laughing at me. MEN!)
Anyway, I digress…
My anxiety about weighing this week slammed into high gear yesterday. The longer the day went the more surly and unpleasant to be around I became. Also, the more anxious and antsy I got. Eventually I melted down after breaking the blender. I was a puddle of tears and frustration because I just KNEW I was going to post a “no change” weigh in, or even worse, a weight gain. I did ok with my eating. I had a couple of splurges but they weren’t horrible or over the top. I had some frozen Greek Yogurt and a nacho salad over the weekend. Not HORRIBLE stuff, but certainly not diet friendly.
Imagine my surprise when I weighed this morning and found that I’d lost 2 pounds!!! It wasn’t a lot. It CERTAINLY wasn’t the 7 pound loss I’d posted the week before, but it was progress not a stall or a step back. *Does Happy Snoopy Dance*
I need to remember to keep my head high and not let the obstacles in my way throw me so much. Fortunately, I have a great support system in The Husband, my family and my friends. When I was at my lowest last night I posted on Plurk about how I was feeling. The replies with their outpouring of kindness, concern and encouragement were more helpful and motivating than those that posted them will ever realize. If any of you are reading this, Thank You! I mean that from the bottom of my heart.